Dear Matteo,
I've been having a lot of realizations lately, and I thought I'd share them here with you, in the hopes that you might find it useful 20 to 30 years from now. If not, well, at least you'll get a peek inside the thoughts of your mom when she turned 32. Yes, I turned 32 years old a week ago. There was a time when I loved celebrating my birthday, and it was the only day in the year that I would let myself get really drunk and wasted (post-college and I already had a job so don't get any ideas!).
Fast forward a few years, and although I really am thankful for my life and blessings, I realized that I preferred to celebrate it quietly...so I set my birthdate on Facebook to private and disabled people from posting on my wall. Sure, I got fewer greetings this year, but it was nice finding out who I really mattered to - the people who sent me messages and called me despite not having easy access to my Facebook wall. I don't know if it comes with age or being alone for hours at a time with you for company (which I love), but I find myself caring less about what people think about me. When I remember how I was before, I can't help but think how petty and immature I was. If only I knew then what I know now, then I might have been a better and kinder person.
People Come and Go, and That's Okay
You will meet a lot of people in your life, and what I can tell you is this - you will learn from each and everyone of them. Some of those lessons may be life changing, while some may not be as useful and can be as simple as learning all the books of the bible through song (yes, it was taught to me in grade school and I still remember the song by heart). As a mother, I pray and hope that when those lessons do come, that they won't be very hard, painful truths. Sometimes, those lessons come when people you care the most about leave or do something unforgivable or hurtful that you have no choice but to be the one to let go. I've had to let go of people a few times in my life, and although it was hard to bear, I know that it was for the best. It's better to leave than to risk being hurt over and over again, because you can never be truly happy until you do. It is okay to let go.
It's a Harsh and Cruel World, but It's Also Full of Possibilities and Opportunities
You will come across many difficulties in your life, and I hope that you won't be jaded or disillusioned enough to stop trying, and making it on your own. I am not expecting you to do something so great that you will be known the world over, but I pray that you will be secure enough that even if the world isn't perfect, you will still find a comfortable place in it where you can be happy with yourself and what you have accomplished.
There are people around you who may be less fortunate or who may be going through something really bad, so I hope that you will always be kind and considerate of others' needs. Treat everyone with respect, no matter their stature in life.
Do not be afraid to fail. Humans aren't destined to be perfect. If you fail a test, there's no reason not to try and take it again. Do not be ashamed of failing, and do not care about what other people think. It might sound cheesy, but failing is just an opportunity to learn and try again. Some people are afraid to try because of the possibility of failure, but what they don't know is that with the possibility of failure also comes the possibility of success. So never be afraid to try. Just go and do it. If you really want something bad enough, you will find a way to get it. When you do, I hope that you won't take it for granted and that you'll still be thankful for every opportunity that comes your way.
The thought of bringing you up and ensuring that you turn out to be the kind of person that everyone aspires to honestly overwhelms me. I promise you this though: I will do my best, and I will be the kind of person that I want you to become.
I've been having a lot of realizations lately, and I thought I'd share them here with you, in the hopes that you might find it useful 20 to 30 years from now. If not, well, at least you'll get a peek inside the thoughts of your mom when she turned 32. Yes, I turned 32 years old a week ago. There was a time when I loved celebrating my birthday, and it was the only day in the year that I would let myself get really drunk and wasted (post-college and I already had a job so don't get any ideas!).
Fast forward a few years, and although I really am thankful for my life and blessings, I realized that I preferred to celebrate it quietly...so I set my birthdate on Facebook to private and disabled people from posting on my wall. Sure, I got fewer greetings this year, but it was nice finding out who I really mattered to - the people who sent me messages and called me despite not having easy access to my Facebook wall. I don't know if it comes with age or being alone for hours at a time with you for company (which I love), but I find myself caring less about what people think about me. When I remember how I was before, I can't help but think how petty and immature I was. If only I knew then what I know now, then I might have been a better and kinder person.
People Come and Go, and That's Okay
You will meet a lot of people in your life, and what I can tell you is this - you will learn from each and everyone of them. Some of those lessons may be life changing, while some may not be as useful and can be as simple as learning all the books of the bible through song (yes, it was taught to me in grade school and I still remember the song by heart). As a mother, I pray and hope that when those lessons do come, that they won't be very hard, painful truths. Sometimes, those lessons come when people you care the most about leave or do something unforgivable or hurtful that you have no choice but to be the one to let go. I've had to let go of people a few times in my life, and although it was hard to bear, I know that it was for the best. It's better to leave than to risk being hurt over and over again, because you can never be truly happy until you do. It is okay to let go.
It's a Harsh and Cruel World, but It's Also Full of Possibilities and Opportunities
You will come across many difficulties in your life, and I hope that you won't be jaded or disillusioned enough to stop trying, and making it on your own. I am not expecting you to do something so great that you will be known the world over, but I pray that you will be secure enough that even if the world isn't perfect, you will still find a comfortable place in it where you can be happy with yourself and what you have accomplished.
There are people around you who may be less fortunate or who may be going through something really bad, so I hope that you will always be kind and considerate of others' needs. Treat everyone with respect, no matter their stature in life.
Do not be afraid to fail. Humans aren't destined to be perfect. If you fail a test, there's no reason not to try and take it again. Do not be ashamed of failing, and do not care about what other people think. It might sound cheesy, but failing is just an opportunity to learn and try again. Some people are afraid to try because of the possibility of failure, but what they don't know is that with the possibility of failure also comes the possibility of success. So never be afraid to try. Just go and do it. If you really want something bad enough, you will find a way to get it. When you do, I hope that you won't take it for granted and that you'll still be thankful for every opportunity that comes your way.
The thought of bringing you up and ensuring that you turn out to be the kind of person that everyone aspires to honestly overwhelms me. I promise you this though: I will do my best, and I will be the kind of person that I want you to become.
