Dear Matteo,
It's been two months since you turned two, and my gosh, have you got my hands full! I can't let you out of my sight because you want to climb on everything! I wish I could stop you from getting hurt, but I know that it's impossible. And I know that no matter how hard it is for me, I have to let you experience things because that's how you'll learn to navigate through life. Admittedly though, I need reminding sometimes. I guess it's natural for parents to want to do things for their children and to make life easier for them. I hope that when you're old enough to understand, you'll be patient with me and not be too annoyed if I meddle too much in your affairs 😆I just came across this post, and I'm writing this down here as a note to myself:
"Give your teen permission to struggle knowing that your love for them will never change."
Your teenage years are more than a decade away, but I know that you'll be going through some rough spots even before then, so I just want you to know that I will be present for you in however way you need me to.
Honestly, I sometimes get overwhelmed with the thought that I'm raising another human being, and I often question myself if I'm doing the right thing. I feel guilty because I let you have way more screen time than is appropriate, but it's the only way that I can make you sit on one place so that I can cook and do other stuff. Although I've succeeded in keeping you away from candy (though I've let you have some chocolate from time to time), I still let you eat fried chicken and McDonald's. It's becoming more and more difficult to make you try different kinds of food, but I'm thankful that you love to eat pasta (specifically pesto, especially when it's from Starbucks 😁) and fruits (you can eat a whole kilo of oranges if I'd let you).
You learn new words everyday, and I'm amazed by how much you know now. I remember being so happy when you said the word "bus" when we were in Australia. That was only four months ago, and now you know the letters of the alphabet (you even try to sing the song), count from 1 to 10, some colors, and identify the shapes. You've learned to say mommy and daddy and say your name (Teo), and lately, you've even started saying some phrases like "what happened (when the video you're watching pauses or stops)," and "so fun" (when you're being hyperactive and all you want to do is jump and run around). You love playing with your toy vehicles, and you readily imitate the sound of sirens whenever we see police cars and ambulances on the road. I love hearing you shout "fire truck!" whenever you see one in those Youtube videos you constantly watch.
You've also started play school, and I'm glad to see that it has helped you become more open to other people. I still get anxious leaving you by yourself for three hours, three times a week, but I know that socializing with other kids is great for your development. What I don't like is that you've been getting sick more frequently, and have been absent for close to two weeks because of a nasty respiratory infection.
Recently, you've been doing this cute face which makes me laugh out loud every time, and is probably why you keep on doing it.
You are so adorable and it makes me wish that you'd stay this way, but I'm looking forward to having real conversations with you, too. I'm excited to be able to go out with you, just the two of us, when you can finally understand that you can't just run from me when we're outside because it's not safe. For now, I will cherish every moment that I have with you, even if you're so makulit that I get frustrated at times.
We decided not to have a party this year, so we went to Hong Kong instead. The weather was bad - sometimes it was too hot and humid, while it was raining the other days, like the day we went to Disneyland. I think you had a bit of fun though, but I hope that the next time we travel, we'll have more fun (and I'll make sure the weather is nice, promise!).
To celebrate your second birthday, I made this video for you. It was so hard to choose what photos and videos to include because I have at least a thousand photos of you for the past two years, but I did my best 😉Here's to celebrating more birthdays with you, my love! 🎂
