Dear Matteo,
You're almost 17 months old! I know, I'm not writing as much as I should, but you have become so rambunctious lately! Although it gets tiring, I have also never laughed as much as before I had you. Your dance moves never get old, and your laugh is as infectious as ever. You've been so active that it has been our routine to take a walk outside in the morning when we wake up, and also in the afternoon when the sun has gone down enough that the heat is a bit bearable. I let you walk and run to your heart's content, in the hopes that you'll be tired enough to make bedtime a stress-free event for the both of us. Luckily for me, it has become easier and easier to put you to bed (though part of the credit goes to Bath & Body for their Lavender and Vanilla scented oil :P).
Honestly though, I'm at a crossroads. Lately, I've been feeling unproductive and restless, and I attribute this to the fact that it's been 1 year and 2 months since I left work. Don't get me wrong - I love staying home and taking care of you, and witnessing your milestones. I just miss the hustle and bustle of working life, and even the stress that comes with it.
Honestly though, I'm at a crossroads. Lately, I've been feeling unproductive and restless, and I attribute this to the fact that it's been 1 year and 2 months since I left work. Don't get me wrong - I love staying home and taking care of you, and witnessing your milestones. I just miss the hustle and bustle of working life, and even the stress that comes with it.
This got me thinking though. We are so lucky to be able to live in a technologically advanced and fast-paced world, that almost anything is impossible. Sure, it is logistically difficult for me to travel and physically go to work, but I realized that being at home gives me the freedom that I need to reinvent myself and discover opportunities that I would have otherwise ignored if I had stayed in my job. When I left my previous role, it was scary and daunting to think of what I would do next. Would I lose myself bit by bit by becoming a stay-at-home mom? Would I be unhappy and unsatisfied with the path that I have taken? I still ask those questions sometimes, but the challenge for me is not to remain stagnant, and to still learn whatever it is I can learn so that I retain the skills and knowledge that I have, and continue to grow despite not having an actual career at the moment.
Because of those questions, I did the next best thing - look for a job online. I got a job as an online English teacher and I admit that it's so different from what I used to do, but it's something that is interesting and that I enjoy doing. Being able to interact with people from other countries, learning about them, and sharing some things about myself is refreshing and breaks the monotony of doing housework all day. Right now, I'm so excited at the prospect of discovering other roles that I can be good at. I'm even considering a job in writing, because I have always loved writing but was too unsure of myself...but if there's one thing I realized in the past 10 or so years, you can never really achieve something unless you put yourself out there. Yes, failing is always a possibility, but succeeding is too. It's also about learning to love what you do, and when that doesn't always work (after trying and trying and trying), don't be afraid to look elsewhere and find your passion. It's never too late to reinvent yourself. After all, learning is a never ending process, and something that I hope to teach you in the future is to never stop learning, to never give up, and to continue improving yourself.
Because of those questions, I did the next best thing - look for a job online. I got a job as an online English teacher and I admit that it's so different from what I used to do, but it's something that is interesting and that I enjoy doing. Being able to interact with people from other countries, learning about them, and sharing some things about myself is refreshing and breaks the monotony of doing housework all day. Right now, I'm so excited at the prospect of discovering other roles that I can be good at. I'm even considering a job in writing, because I have always loved writing but was too unsure of myself...but if there's one thing I realized in the past 10 or so years, you can never really achieve something unless you put yourself out there. Yes, failing is always a possibility, but succeeding is too. It's also about learning to love what you do, and when that doesn't always work (after trying and trying and trying), don't be afraid to look elsewhere and find your passion. It's never too late to reinvent yourself. After all, learning is a never ending process, and something that I hope to teach you in the future is to never stop learning, to never give up, and to continue improving yourself.
