Thoughts on Baby Shopping

When I was pregnant, I only wanted the best products for myself and my baby. What good mom doesn't? I read reviews and bought what the other moms were buying, but only after giving birth did I find out that even if a certain product gets 5 stars from most, it may still not work for me. Some of those purchases paid off (like the Wink Ultra) but some didn't. For instance, I bought the Baby K'Tan Original on one of those crazy shopping sprees because everyone seemed to swear by it, but lo and behold, Matteo doesn't like it and hasn't been able to stay in it for more than 10 minutes. To top it off, the fabric didn't seem to be all that durable since it already had holes after just one washing. That's already Php 2,000+ down the drain! So just a tip, before buying anything expensive, try to borrow from friends instead or buy it second hand. There are moms who sell cheap barely used stuff in groups such as the Baby Business Club, Manila Online Garage Sale, or even OLX. While it may seem fun to shop while pregnant (believe me, I know), expenses tend to pile up once you give birth. I learned that the hard way, delivering my baby via CS at St. Luke's, which made a dent in my bank account. I was dead set on having a normal delivery and paid for the NSD package which was not bad at Php 68,000+, but there are just some things you can't control, so that's that. I only wished that I saved more money instead of splurging on a two-thousand peso diaper bag and a ton of swaddles that Matteo outgrew by the 4th week. A trip to the pedia might set you back more than Php 5,000 because of vaccines that need to be administered, so better save up instead of buying that cute newborn onesie (that's very hard to resist!) that your baby will outgrow in a month.

Now, whenever I'm about to make a purchase, I make sure that I ask myself the following questions:

- Is it a necessity? If it's not absolutely necessary for the well-being of my baby, then I would think twice before getting it.

- Is there a cheaper version of the item? For instance, I know that the Nose Frida is being raved about, but its less expensive counterpart which has also been getting good reviews is the Baby Comfy Nose.

- Can I resell it or give it away after using it? You want to be able to get your money's worth with every purchase, and one way to ensure that is if other people will get to use it too.

- How long will I be able to use it? Although the Mamaroo seems like a nifty item to have, it's not a very practical purchase for its price point since you'll only get to use it for a few months. It's better to invest in purchases such as a car seat since it's essential for baby's safety.

- Does it have good reviews? Research on the item first. Read reviews to know if a certain item is right for you. It's not 100% foolproof, but it will help in making the decision on whether to purchase or not.

- Is it functional? I'm very guilty of choosing style over functionality, but I know that it doesn't always spell for a practical purchase.

- Will I be able to borrow or purchase pre-loved items instead of buying? Babies grow really quickly, so while it's nice to have brand new clothes, your baby will soon outgrow that onesie. Pre-loved baby clothes are often in great condition because of the same reason. Also, your baby won't care what he or she is wearing as long as it's comfortable, so that hand-me-down would suit him or her just fine.

As a first time mom, I make mistakes...but I'm glad that I'm slowly learning to make smarter decisions (through trial and error) everyday. I know you are too. :)

My Birth Story

I have been meaning to write about the day I gave birth because I wanted to make sure that I remembered everything years from now, and hopefully share the story (without the gruesome details) to Matteo in the future. It's true that no matter how much you plan for the arrival of your baby, you should always be prepared for the unexpected. 

My due date was supposed to be July 13th, but I hoped to give birth earlier. I was getting impatient, and it was getting harder and harder to sleep with a huge tummy. I would wake up in the wee hours to pee and it would take hours before I can finally manage to sleep again. It was a good thing that I decided to go on vacation leave two weeks before my due date so I can get some rest and prepare for the baby's arrival, because the baby came earlier than I had anticipated. 

I got up around midnight to pee and just when I was going back to bed, I felt something wet. I wasn't sure if it was my water breaking because I expected the water to be a lot, so I chalked it up as something normal. However, I had this nagging feeling that I should at least ask my doctor, so I sent her a text message at around 5 am to ask, and went back to sleep. When I woke up two hours later, I saw that she asked me to go to the hospital immediately. I arrived at St. Luke's BGC at around 10, expecting it to be a regular check-up, but I was admitted by 10:30. I could not believe that I was in labor, but it was a good thing that I had everything packed just in case. 

I was supposed to be in a shared room because I availed of the NSD package, but apparently, a lot of women were giving birth that day so they placed me in the high risk labor room which was private. A resident checked to see if I was in labor (boy, was the IE painful!) and saw that my water was already leaking. They hooked me up to an IV and a machine that monitors my contractions and the baby's heartbeat. Except for the hourly IEs, it was relatively pain free. I couldn't feel the contractions even when they tried to induce labor and I was having strong contractions per the nurses. After waiting alone and being really hungry for hours, I was told that they needed to undergo a C-section. Since my water has been leaking for close to a day, the baby could have an infection already. They prepped me at around 9:00 PM. 

One of the photos taken inside the delivery room

Everything was such a blur after that. I remember the local anaesthetic being administered, felt the prick of the needle followed by a creeping pain which subsided quickly, then a few pinpricks of the spinal block before losing feeling at the lower half of my body. The doctors didn't tell me that I was already being cut open. The next thing I knew, my OB was instructing someone to call my husband because the baby was coming out. I heard Matteo's cry, then the doctor asked my husband if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord. Jay didn't want to, so I had to command him to do it, haha. After all, it was a once in a lifetime thing. Afterwards, they cleaned up Matteo and placed him on my chest. I was groggy at this point and I thought I would become emotional, but surprisingly, I wasn't.

One of my favorite photos - Matteo looks
so peaceful!

Jay brought Matteo outside to show him to my mom, and then when they were done with my stitches (which I expected to look gruesome but actually looks okay) I was wheeled to the recovery room where I spent a few hours to wait for the feeling in my legs to come back. Matteo's bassinet was beside my bed at all times. At around 5:00 AM, they transferred me to a private room on the 8th floor, which was pretty nice and wouldn't look like a hospital room if it weren't for the hospital bed. We stayed for a total of five days because Matteo stayed in the IMCU for monitoring. His lab results showed that he could have an infection so a blood culture had to be done, and he was started on antibiotics as a precaution. It was difficult breastfeeding him, especially since I had to go down every two hours or so to the 3rd floor, but we were able to manage in spite of the lack of sleep. Thankfully, the blood culture showed that he was negative for infection and his jaundice didn't warrant phototherapy, so were given the all clear to go home on July 10th.

Matteo with Dad and Grandma

Inside the IMCU

First family photo

First doctor's appointment

Now, 10 weeks later, I am proud to report that my baby boy is as healthy as can be. I even think we're almost ready to sleep through the night as he's been sleeping for 5 hours straight on some nights now (fingers crossed!). Two more weeks and we'll be at the 3-month mark!

2nd Month!

Baby boy is two months old! 

Time sure flies fast. He's grown so much and looks very different from when he was a newborn, but I'm not complaining because he's getting cuter by the day. He smiles whenever he's about to sleep, and I know I can put him down on the bed when his mouth gapes open, which signals that he's already in deep sleep. He's become more sociable, constantly cooing whenever anyone talks to him.

My favorite milestone is when he learned to suck his fist.

 

He now has a range of expressions :)

Although he still gets fussy sometimes and won't sleep for three hours straight, I'm enjoying every moment with him and trying to document his milestones as much as I can. 

Catching Up

Everything has been a whirlwind. I don't know how time could fly by so fast. Matteo is almost two months old, and I haven't even had the chance to document his first month. He has changed so much in the past few weeks, and luckily, I have also been adjusting to not having enough sleep and taking care of a baby round the clock. Good thing I've been getting a lot of help from family, or else I don't know how I'd be able to eat, let alone take a shower. 

I made the announcement on Facebook a week after I'd given birth, and edited a photo to reflect Matteo's birth info. It was still hard to take a photo of him facing the camera so I had to make do with him facing sideways.

We celebrated Matteo's first month by getting a huge mango cake. I hoped for a nicer photo with the cake, but of course it was futile since babies can't exactly sit up by themselves. 

Finally got a photo of him semi-smiling

Close-up photo. Look at those cheeks!

Last Saturday, I left the house for a couple of hours without Matteo in tow. It was an odd feeling not having him within hearing distance, but it was nice getting out of the house without worrying about where to find a place to change a dirty diaper. I missed Matteo, of course,  and the two and a half hours felt that I've been gone for much longer. 

Before leaving, I made sure to feed Matteo and pump enough milk to last him for at least three hours, just in case it took me a while to get home. Good thing I also had frozen breastmilk left over from his stay at the IMCU (more on that later) so I didn't worry too much about Matteo going hungry. I don't know how other moms do it, though. I feel sad for those who don't have any other option but to leave their baby at home with someone else because they have to work. 

I think that's enough catching up for now. I still have tons of stuff to do because I have two projects lined up, one of which is my own clothing line. Can't wait!

Of New Beginnings

Having a newborn has definitely made me see things from a different perspective. My priorities have changed and are now geared towards what's best for Matteo. I realized how easy it was for me before, when I had no one to take care of but myself. I could eat, sleep, go out and do whatever it was I wanted, whenever I wanted. I spent most of my time working - my obsessive-compulsive self did not want to leave anything unfinished, so I worked until I was 9 months pregnant. I was even sending emails while I was in the labor room (the nurse was nice enough to let me have my phone while I was waiting to give birth)! 

In spite of that, leaving my job was something that I felt I had to do, and although it made me feel a bit sad, it was an easy decision to make. Sure, it would be difficult especially since I won't have a stable income every month, but I didn't want to entrust Matteo's care to a nanny. We've all heard  horror stories about children being mistreated by their caregivers, and I didn't want any of that to happen to my kid. 

Still, I can't help but feel a bit sad about leaving work. I loved my job. I loved seeing planes parked at the hangar everyday as I came in to work. I'm going to miss wearing my gray uniform that fit me perfectly, and that shade of bright red lipstick that we were always required to wear. I'd even miss having to constantly remind cabin crew to smile and be nice to passengers. Most of all, I'd miss my colleagues - they were such a happy bunch and sometimes, it didn't feel like we were at an office at all. 

There was a time that I got tired of flying, but I know that someday, I'd yearn for the feeling of having coffee 20,000 feet up in the air and interacting with passengers however demanding they may be. 

I chanced upon this quote by Paulo Coelho which made me feel a bit better:

I never thought that I'd ever leave PAL express, and right now, I'm feeling uncertain of what's to come. However, change is inevitable and I know that I must be brave enough to say goodbye to my comfort zone and to what I've come to know and love for the past five years. It's time for me to face the future with open arms.

After all, motherhood is my next great adventure.

On Motherhood

Matteo is 17 days old today, which means that I have been a mother for a little over two weeks. As I sit here contemplating on what this entails, I glance at Matteo beside me, hoping that I would get to finish this entry before he wakes up (I don't, btw).

I'm starting this blog so that I can at least try to document this milestone in my life, in the hopes that I would look back years from now and get to laugh at myself and how difficult it seemed at first, but then eventually coming to the realization (hopefully) that all I need to do is to take it one day at a time.

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Oh, motherhood. It's not as rosy as it seems. What you pictured in your head as picture-perfect, fun times with your gurgling, happy baby are soon replaced by images of sleepless nights, dirty diapers, non-stop crying, and the fact that the possibility of a decent bath may now be millions of light years away.

No amount of parenting books on what to expect, online articles on how to get everything ready before the baby's birth, YouTube videos on how to correctly latch and breastfeed,  and (unsolicited) advice from well-meaning family and friends could have prepared me for this. Realizing that you're now responsible for another human being is overwhelming, to say the least. Yes, I was ready to change smelly diapers, get peed and vomited on, and have this little person depend on me for sustenance...but, no matter the expectation, the reality is that you can never prepare enough for the arrival of a baby in your once organized life.

Motherhood is a whole different ball game, I can at least tell you that. I sometimes lie awake worrying that the baby isn't breathing properly, that I have to get up from bed and watch his chest rise and fall, or put my ear close to his mouth to listen to the sound of his breathing just so I can assure myself that he's okay. Every little rash, cry, or jerky movement is a cause for concern, and what follows is a frantic Google search to appease myself that all is well and I do not have to make a mad dash to the emergency room with the little one in tow. 

However, having Matteo is something that I wouldn't trade for anything in this world. His unexpected smiles, coos and aahs, and that sweet, sweet smell of a newborn baby are definitely to be cherished and enjoyed. Cuddling and carrying him, even in the wee hours of the morning, are worth it. I look forward to his milestones - his first word, first steps, first time to eat solid food, first everything - that I'm worried that I'll become the typical helicopter parent (which I will resist, but no promises there).

I never thought my heart could be so full of love for a tiny human being, but Matteo has now become a huge part on what makes my life une belle vie. A beautiful life, indeed.